Succubus on Top CHAPTER 12

Thetis, he said after several more(prenominal) moments of silence, talk to me here.I looked up sharply. What do you extremity me to say? You already shaft the answer. They wouldnt deceitfulness. sur vitrine, actually, they lie all the sentence simply non ab let out something like that.He nodded and set the bowl and spoon on the coffee table. Slouching notwithstandingtocks on the couch, he didnt look at me, instead staring off across the room in thought. I could guess what was going through his mind. He knew what I was and what I did. But it was integrity thing to charter a superficial make outledge of it and another(prenominal) to suddenly know there was tangible evidence each time I had sex. He would recognize the glow now and know that I had plainly come from someone elses bed, that not so long ago Id been in someone elses arms doing the most intimate things two people could do. Things I couldnt do with him.Im sorry, I said, not knowing what else I could say.For what? Forthis. For doing what I do.Why? It is what you do. Its what you pass water to do, proper(a)? Theres no withdraw to apologize for your consumeuh, nature.Sowhat? Youre clear with that? conditioned what Im doing with other guys? Or rather, when Im doing it?Okay is a funny word, still yeah, I guess. What Im not okay with is He paused, as always considering his words before speaking. What Im not okay with is you being afraid to tell me about this. You must have seen how fascinateI was. But you never brought it up or explained it to me.What was I supposed to say? Thanks for noticing how pretty I am. Its because I just went checkmate on some stranger in a sleazy club.Seth flinched, and I at erst regretted my example.Maybemaybe it could be phrased a bit more, uh, tactfully than that, but yeah. I guess essentially thats what you could tell me.I poked at the melted remains of my ice cream. Its not that easy, and you know it. Its got to be hard enough for you to deport that Im sle eping some on you, so to speak, without real evidence to confirm each time it happens.Why dont you let me decide what I can or cant accept.He didnt sound angry hardly, but Id never heard him so sharp and assertive. The arrogant part of me didnt like being spoken to like that, but I knew he was justified in the comment. And, I had to admit, that confidence was kind of a turn-on. Alpha males. Yum.I know what you are, he continued, and I know what you do. I had to acknowledge that from the beginning of the relationship. It bothers me, yeah, but that doesnt involve I cant go on with the knowledge. He laid his hand over mine, his fingertips absentmindedly stroking my skin. But you cant be afraid to tell me the truth. Not ever. Even if its ugly. What we have isnt about sex like that wasnt already perfectly obvious. But if we dont have honesty either, then(prenominal) theres naught left.I forced my eyes up to him and smiled. How can you be so young and so wise at the same time?Im not that wise, he said, pulling me to him so I leaned against his shoulder joint. He didnt challenge the young comment. Looking at our ages objectively, one could practically accuse me of cradle robbing.I sighed and snuggled into him. It performer nothing, you know. All that stuff I do. I dont even remember their names.I know. Youve told me. AlthoughWhat?Sometimes thats not exactly comforting. Sex isnt supposed to be about nothing. I dont actually like the idea of you being with guys you dont want to be with. Even if youre technically my girlfri demiseId rather you at least liked what was going on. Wellin the ultimate heat of it, I sort of do like it. The energy I drop dead from sexwell, you cant really understand it. But itits literally what I live for. So even if I dont want to be with someone before and after the deed, theres still that one moment, no matter how brief, when I want them. I tried to give him a reassuring smile. Besides, dont feel too bad for me. Things are a lot b etter than they used to be. I have more of a choice about who Im with now, which makes a big difference. Its not like I just take whoever comes along.What do you mean you have a choice now Havent you always?I laughed uneasily. Oh, come on, Seth. You know women didnt start getting any real rights until about a century ago. custody havent always been kind or considerate in their relations with the fair sex especially those in the lower classes.He stared at me, shocked, and pulled patronage a little. I loved how expressive those eyes were, even if their current sensation wasnt exactly positive. Youre talking aboutitit sounds an awful lot like rape.I shrugged, immediately realizing we needed to steer out of these waters. Its hard to rape a succubus. In the ultimate climax, the succubus is the conqueror especially if the guy ends up blacking out.You arent really answering my question.And you arent really asking it.We lapsed into silence. A moment later Seth took me back into a tight embrace, burying his grammatical case in my shoulder this time.Hey, now. Dont let it bother you. Dont judge the past by the standards of today. It wont work. Theyre incompatible.I dont like the idea of you doing things you dont want to do, he said gruffly. I wish I could do somethingwish I could, I dont know, protect you.You cant, I whispered, snog the cr consume of his head. You cant, and you have to accept that.We went to bed together after that, the first time since the kissing incident. Seth held me tightly all night, even in his sleep, clinging as though I capacity slip away if he let go.Again, I marveled at his understanding. And again, I questioned whether I was in love yet. How would I know? What was love anyway? I ticked off a list as my hands held tightly to his back. Affection. Connection. Understanding. Acceptance. All these things he gave me. Those were parts of love. All these things he offered freely, no matter how terrible each new discovery about me was. I wonder ed whether I re moody as much as I received. Did I have any right to be in this relationship? Somehow I doubted it, yet it make me want him all the more.When we drove to the bookstore the next morning, he held my hand with a thrilling possessiveness. He didnt let go until we actually cleared the bookstores door.Did Doug come in today? I asked Beth after Id made a sweep of the store.Yeah. He was here earlier. I think hes in your office.I walked to the back. The office was dark. When I turned on the light, I found him hunched in a corner, his carcass curled up in a tight ball. I immediately dropped down beside him.Whats wrong?After several seconds, he lifted his eyes up to mine. They were dark and troubled. Nothing.To contradict him seemed both obvious and pointless. What can I do to answer?He laughed acidulously, a terrible sound. Dont you get it, Kincaid? Nothing helps, thats the problem. Theres no point to any of this. You know that as well as I do.Do I?He gave me a cynical smil e. Youre one of the most depressed people I know. Even when youre smiling and vamper and all of that. I know you detest this life. This world. I know you think its all stupid. Not true. Theres good in the bad. Theres always hope. Whats gotten into you? rightful(prenominal) reality, thats all. Just woke up and realized how stupid it all is. Dunno why I even bother.I touched his arm. Hey, youre kind of freaking me out here. Did you get any sleep? Do you need something to eat?He leaned back against the wall, face still dimmed and full of snide humor. Kincaid, I need so many fucking things, its not even funny. But you know what? We dont get them. Thats how it is. Whats that precept? Life is brutish and short?Erclose enough.I sat there with him for a long time, listening to him go on. His words were an outpouring of bitter anger and black despair. A frightening combination. Id never heard him like this. Not upbeat Doug, always ready with a joke. Doug, the guy who never took anything s eriously. His bleak face reminded me of Caseys when Id found her in the caf?, but she hadnt been this down.As the clock ticked, I wondered what I should do. He certainly couldnt work today, yet I feared sending him home. Who knew what he might do in this mood? Previously, I would never have worried about him hurting himself, but all bets seemed to be off now.I want you to stay here, I finally said, standing up and straightening the kinks out of my legs. Ive got to get back out there, but Im going to check on you later, okay? Promise youll engender me if you need me. Well eat lunch later on. Ill get us some falafels from that place you like.He only gave me a twisted half(a)-smile, face stormy and mocking. I left, taking the letter opener with me.His mood didnt change as the day wore on even the falafels did no good. Once more, I wondered urgently what I should do. He had no family in the city I could call. I knew the hospitals had psych emergency services should I contact one of th em?Shortly after lunch, Alec showed up. He avoided Caseys pleading eyes and gave me a smile that tried too hard. Hey Georgina, is Doug around?I hesitated. I didnt like Alec, but he was sort of Dougs friend. Maybe that would help. I led the drummer to the back. When Doug apothegm him, he leapt up with an astounding burst of energy, his face both desperate and rapt.Jesus Christ, man Where have you been?Sorry, said Alec. I got held up.They flock together, then looked uneasily over at me. Sensing I was unprecious, I backed out of the office but not before I saw Alec reaching into his coat and Doug looking very eager.It was Alec, I realized. Alec was feeding Doug whatever drug he was addicted to. The realization made me want to go in there and throttle him, wipe that stupid grin off his face. Yet, when the two emerged a half hour later, the change in Doug was so marked that I couldnt bring myself to act.A swagger had returned to his step, the normal cheery grin back on his face. Janice passed by, and he made some playful remark that caused her to laugh. Seeing me, he pranced up and saluted.Ready for duty, boss. What do you have for me?I I stared stupidly, which only made him smile more.Rein it in, Kincaid, he said with mock severity. I know that as a good groupie, youre ready to take me anytime, anywhere. But, as literary professionals, weve got to control our passion until after hours.I was still staring. Umwhy dont you, uh, grab a register?He saluted again and clicked his heels together, military style. Can do. He turned to Alec. Ill see you at the rehearsal tonight?Yup.Doug flashed both of us a grin, then sauntered off.I stood there alone with Alec. He waited expectantly, like I was supposed to say something. The words fuck off seemed appropriate, but I changed my mind. I smiled at him. It was a slow, sweeping smile that started with my lips and then shone in my eyes, the kind of smile that said Id just noticed something Id never seen before. Something I sudde nly liked and wanted.Alecs own smile faltered. I think hitting on me had become so automatic, he didnt expect a response anymore. He swallowed and then turned his own grin back on.A rehearsal, huh? I said. You guys got another show coming up?Next weekend. You going to come?Ill try. Are you going to have another party after?Probably. Wyatts having one tomorrow if you wanna go to that.Are you going to be there? I asked silkily, catching his eye meaningfully.You bet.Then Ill be there. I turned to go, still giving him the hypnotic smile. See you then.As soon I was out of his sight, my smile lapsed into a grimace. Ack. I hadnt thought it was attainable to loathe that guy anymore, but Id been proven wrong once again. Still, flirting with him, Id realized, might be the best way to figure out what was going on with Doug. I felt pretty sure Alec had tried to push whatever he had on Casey. If I appeared to fall prey to his so-called charm too, he might let me share in the goods.Doug, as I s oon discovered, certainly wasnt going to provide any help in the matter.Youve got something, I torment later when he and I ran into each other in the fantasy books. I gave him the lethal smile.He returned it. Magnetism? Sex appeal? Intelligence? Babe, Ive got it all.I stepped forward and pulled playfully on his shirt, looking up into his face. Thats not what I mean. Youve got something good, something you arent sharing.He stayed close to me and tugged on a lock of my hair in return. Dont know what youre talking about.The hell you dont. Do you know how many hours Ive been working for you and Paige lately? Good lord. Its driving me crazy. Grey Goose only goes so far. If youve got some stash, you need to spread the love.Hey, Ill spread as much love as you want. Name the time and place.I thought we were friends. I pushed lightly on his chest and stepped back with a pout. Youre holding out on me. No way could you have perked up so quickly. Not after how you were this morning. You took s omething. Bah, mood swing. Youre a woman you understand. Just woke up grumpy, thats all. A little falafel and some Kincaid charm, and now Im good to go. Great even. He took a step back toward me, apparently hoping Id renew the flirtation. hot pants burned in his eyes, something a little darker and more intense than our typical bantering called for. In fact, Im downright uns cover versionpable now. A god, babe. Come on back to the office, and Ill show you.I walked away, giving him a taunting look over my shoulder, still playing it light. Not my religion, babe.He laughed as I left him. Wed been flirting for years, and I knew hed probably take no offense at my teasing or baiting. I, on the other hand, was pissed. Bad enough this shit of Alecs could push Doug into sinful exuberance and inappropriate behavior at work. Dragging him into the pits of despair, however, was an entirely different matter. I was going to find out what was going on and put an end to it even if it meant cozyin g up to that sleaze, Alec.Remembering one of the other complications in my life right now, I called Bastien later that night for a status check.Dont even ask, Fleur .The clouds of nonstarter are gathering.What the hell is it with you depressed guys today? Why do I have to be everyones goddamned cheering-up committee?I ordered him to drive to sprite Anne immediately. When he arrived, he was still whining. Danas being really nice to me, he conceded, but nothing intimate. She cant ever come over alone either. Shes always got Jody with her or some other CPFV freak. My odds are probably better at getting her sidekicks into bed as a group than ever nailing her. Theyre all arduous to get me to join their cult. I suppose making the gesture cant hurt, but I think Ill see more of her if I pretend to be a hesitant convert. You know, she also asks about you a lot. corresponding what?Random stuff. Last time she wanted to know how the clothes you bought were working out. Whats that about?Not a clue, I lied.It was ironic, really, because just then Bastien noticed the Victorias Secret bag still sitting on my counter. My privacy apparently not a concern, he emptied it out and looked through the lingerie with approval.You want to try something on? I asked wryly, noting his scrutiny.You always did have good taste. He held up the black mesh bra and peered at me through it, as though imagining how it would look on. Although I still dont know why you buy this stuff. Just shape-shift it.I have a respect for adroit property. Whoever designed this deserves their pay.Even if it was constructed by third-world labor?I made a face. Come on, lets get out of here.Where to?A piano bar.Surprise put his restlessness on hold. Are those still around?Yup. Theres actually a couple of them in Seattle.In fact, one was even nearby, less than a fifteen-minute walk away. As we went, however, Bastien wouldnt stop worrying about the Dana thing. It drove me crazy. I hated her too, believe me, but I couldnt figure out what was making this such a maniac(predicate) obsession for him.Fortunately, the piano bar was just wacky enough to distract him as Id hoped it would be. We ate yummy bar food and drank froofy drinks like Midori martinis and Sex on the Beach. Mean period, dueling pianists sang everything from Eminem to Barry Manilow. As the evening passed, getting a request played cost more and more money. However, the patrons grew drunker and drunker, so they didnt mind putting the cash down.Knowing this in advance, I had brought a stack of bills, and Bastien and I took great amusement in seeing just how well the piano players could keep up with our increasingly older and more obscure requests. Bastien and I sang along beautifully. Shape-shifting, in addition to so many other benefits, could modify ones voice and vocal cords. The piano players had an astounding knowledge of our requests, and we were so impressed and drunk by the end of the night that we gave them a hefty tip. Before we could leave, however, Bastien made me wait to hear one more request. I slapped a fifty down with it, he said. Theyve got to play it soon. I picked it just for you.If its Superfreak, I walk, I warned.He laughed. Youll know it when you hear it. It reminded me of you and your writer. legitimate enough, I immediately knew which song his silly sense of humor had led him to. The smile cracking his face was sort of a giveaway too. Pulling half of me onto his lap, he sang along loudly with Fiona Apples lyricsIve been a bad, bad girlIve been carelessWith a delicate manAnd its a sad, sad worldWhen a girl will break a boyJust because she can. Youre truly a creature of hell, I told him, trying to wiggle away. You know that, dont you?I just tell it like it is. He held onto me and kept singing.Heaven help meFor the way I amSave me fromThese evil deedsBefore I get them doneWhen we finally left the bar, both of us laughing and humming, we passed a group of girls even more drunk than us. A few of them gave Bastien open looks of invitation, and I glanced at him expectantly. He shook his head.Too easy. Besides, Id rather go home with you. So to speak.He walked me back toward my apartment, holding my arm as he had once done when social mores dictated it for anyone of good breeding. The pavement was slick from earlier rain, and a moist chill hung in the air. Not far away, the Space chevvy gleamed watchfully above the nearby buildings it would have Christmas lights on it soon. Bastien tightened his hold on my arm and turned his gaze absentmindedly toward the cloudy sky for a while before looking over at me. Fleur ,do you want to know why Im so gung-ho about this Dana business?I willed myself to sober up, suspecting something big was about to come. You mean other than your righteous fury at her?He smiled gently and looked down at the pavement, watching our feet. Im in trouble. Big trouble. He sighed. You ever heard of a demon named Barton?No. Should I have?Maybe. He work s in Chicago. Very high up. Very powerful. Hes one of those who expects favors from his staff.I nodded in understanding. It was one of the occupational hazards succubi and incubi faced, and probably something else Seth would be happier not knowing about. As workers in the sex industry, so to speak, our demonic supervisors often thought we wouldnt mind one more customer. Many saw it as our duty. Whatever his other failings, Jerome at least had never demanded anything of that nature from me.Soanyway, Barton has this succubus named Alessandra. Relatively new. You know, a century or so. Beautiful. She has as good an eye for exquisite physical detail as you. And shes bright. Wicked sense of humor. Outgoing.I stared at him in astonishment. Are you in love, Bastien?No, but I was am very attracted to her. Hard not to be. We got to know each other, and well, one thing sort of led to anotherAs it often does with you.Yes, he admitted ruefully. But let me tell you, it was amazing. That womanw ow.So how are you in trouble?Well, the thing is, Bartons kind of possessive about his people. He expected Alessandras body to be exclusively for his use mortal business aside, of course.And he found out?Yes. He turned unbelievably jealous. Contempt filled Bastiens voice. Stupid emotion for our kind. Of course, demon or no, I suppose he might have had reason to feel insecure knowing his girlfriend had been with a sex-master like myself. I mean, once you go BastienKeep telling the story, ego-master. What happened?Wellto say he was pissed off would be an understatement. Honestly, I dont think Id be enjoying your lovely partnership today if Janelle hadnt done some serious intervening. Janelle was Bastiens archdemoness in Detroit. But mostly she just protected me from physical torture. Everything else is a mess. My career is in shambles. Barton has powerful friends, and Janelles made it clear shes not going to cover my ass anymore.We had reached my building and stood outside it now. He ran a hand through his dark curls, face suddenly weary. Im on everyones shit list all of a sudden. Plans are already in motion to transfer me somewhere else, and I know its going to be horrific. Like Guam. Or Omaha. Thats why I need this Dana thing. A big hit like this a public humiliation for the other side. Itll put me on top again. They wont be able to punish me, not if Ive got a takedown like that on my record.I started to understand his obsession with the radio host. But the takedown isnt exactly taking.I dont know what else to do. Ive tried all the old tricks, all the textbook moves plus a few exclusive Bastien moves. None of its working.I reached out to him. You might have to accept that shes got a strong will,Bas.It happens.I know. He sounded so miserable, it broke my heart.Hey, come on. Dont give up the fight yet. I taught you everything you know, remember? Well find a way out of this. Well get that wench wet yet.He laughed and brushed a finger against my cheek. You alway s make me feel better when Im around you, you know that? Its one of the wonderful things about you. That and if the rumors are true your mouth. The rumors are true, and Im going to help you with this, youll see. Besides, nothing else works on her, theres always hard liquor, right?Ah yes, the old standby. He hugged me tightly and kissed each cheek. Good night, my sweet. Thanks for a lovely evening.I kissed him back. Anytime.I had my hand on the door handle when I thought of something.Hey, Bastien?He turned from where hed been walking away down the sidewalk. Yes?Whyd you do it?Do what?Alessandra. You must have known how Barton felt about her, right?I did.So why risk it?He looked at me like he could scarcely believe I had to ask. Because I could. Because she was beautiful and wonderful and I wanted her.I knew better than to argue with that. It was textbook incubus logic. Smiling, I went inside.